Animalia: Terrifying

There seems to be a common misconception that vegans love all animals.

Untrue (at least for me). There are extremely few animals that I have truly loved. My dog, Olivia, and previous dogs, Otis and Rea. My turtle, Raphael, the hermit crabs I used to have (my parents bought them as substitutes for the hamster I really wanted). Sadly, Barky the Betta fish does not make the cut. There are several animals I could do without, and a few that I resent for their contributions to fashion. Leopards and zebras, mostly.

There are also the elite few that, to use technical terms, scare the bejesus out of me:

Ticks

The only thing grosser than one tick is two ticks. The only thing grosser than two ticks is two ticks making little tick babies.

Lampreys

Lampreys. Ugh.

People eat these. No, really. Read the first two steps of this recipe, vomit, brush your teeth, and then return to this blog.

Back?

Ostriches

Something about the eyes and head.

(Side note: despite the ostrich, Leonard Part 6 is a fantastic film, Siskel and Ebert be damned.)

So please, this Halloween, do not come trick-or-treating in Galivants Ferry in this getup:

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