Three Things Ruining Language

I’m not the best writer in the world. I make mistakes, goof up, and often “suck the raw egg of ineptitude” (thanks to the amazing Amy Condon for that phrase). Sometimes–oftentimes–I don’t write good.

That said, there are at least three things that are doing more damage to the English language than I could ever hope to do.

Text Messaging

I really want to send this out:

The “lol,” “u,” “R,” “2day.” The all-but-extinct apostrophe (which is making a slight comeback in misusage thanks to autocorrect). The almost complete lack of terminal punctuation. The humanity!


Too-Casual Email


Alanis Morissette

Ms. Morissette gets the award for “Top Achievement in Lasting Ill Effects on the English Language.” 15 years later, the song still bites and it seems like a lot of people have accepted her definition of “irony” as either “coincidence” or “shit luck.”



2 thoughts on “Three Things Ruining Language

  1. I owe that phrase to Dave Barry, who used it in a column in the now-defunct Tropic magazine (R.I.P.) about 15 years ago, and it stuck with me. (Mainly because it described my life so perfectly at the time.) I’m just giving credit where it’s due.

    Now Alanis is stuck in my head. Isn’t that ironic?

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