Mothers Day is a big deal for a lot of people. Especially Hallmark.
Forget about how anyone feels about the commercialization of the holiday (even Anna Jarvis, the mother of Mothers Day, got fed up with the shenanigans) or its legitimacy. There are some moms who don’t deserve a phone call or even one of those crappy 99 cent greeting cards with a picture of a kitten and some saying about the purrfect mom on it.
Your daughter, Carrie, just had the worst prom ever, and you stab her for it?
A hundred or so of your eight-eyed spawn might love to give you a bouquet of dead flies. But the babies that you ate aren’t too psyched about the holiday.
That’s what you get for taking your only child to eat at the only patch of grass in the meadow. You may as well have loaded the gun yourself.
Happy Mothers Day to all of the sane, non-arachnid, and sensible moms out there.